Friday, September 26
Prelude
High on drugs..
The insignificant yellow pill
So small yet dominantly potent.
Cleansed my will power, purged my sensibility..
I slept without sleeping
I dreamt without consciousness
Kept drifting along the borders of falling into and out of sleep.
Perhaps I thought I was asleep, perhaps naught at all.
I just wanna squeeze the reality out at that point in time..
Officially authorized to be physically away from work, but not mentally indeed.
Goddamnit..
I cant really let go can I?
I shouldn’t reply that email in this blurry state..
Made me feel even agitated and detest work..
Was utterly disappointed with her outright refusal to take claims.
Emails supposed to provide directional solutions
Not to deny responsibilities..
Nor to make motherhood statements to remind people of your superiority.
That’s just so pompous and stupid.
And I’m not supposed to touch work.
Ripped of my strength and stamina
I thought of the tracks, thought of the sweat, all to the drain now?
No I shalt not allow that..
Then I continued to drift back to semi slumber..
Slumber,
A luxury so delicately bestowed upon
Recharged,
But not refreshed..
*****
My second run after recovery..
A session with spinning spells..
Still feeling the heavy daze..
Saw a terrier in the distance, on a loose leash sitting by the side of the road.
The owner was gazing into the distance, distracted.
Muscles stiffed, I braced myself.
The dog suddenly lunged at me and I bounced up instinctively and then continued to run.
Behind me,
I sensed the owner’s distress, struggling to get a grip on her dog, apologizing profusely.
I paced myself again.
*****
The past few days since recovery, the car motion sickness got worse.
Squeezed my eyes close, was actually enjoying the morning’s train ride..
Tried to sleep but without avail..
Sparsely commuted train rides are always inspirational to me..
Aye why, I knew naught.
I thought a 35 minutes wink shall compensate my lack of sleep the previous night..
Yet chunks and bulks of thoughts seep into me..
I wished I had a notebook to capture down those spontaneous quotes
Cos most of the time by the time I got to my lappie, half of these forgotten..
I gave up running for the bus that morning,
cos I knew I wont make it.
It was a Friday, and I refused to make it a hectic one.
I saw the first train zoom past
And actually enjoyed that.
How many times in rush hour can we afford to allow time wasted like that.
That morning, I did it anyway..
Perhaps it was self solace in mockery.
Perhaps I should do it again.
Perhaps for this.
A satisfying gratification..
*****
irony @
9:44 AM
