A Clichéd Life
The beginning of a day..
You wake up in the morning brush up wash up and look into the mirror to do double takes on the person inside.
Once you are convinced the person staring back at you is presentable for work, you set off.
As usual, you don’t hit the clock on time, silently wondered if there are any spies around for small reports or if the email on punctuality will come one fine day.
You try to make it up by eating breakfast and reading emails at the same time.
Then lunch time came and you wonder what to eat again.
For the past 3 years, you’ve been wanting to eat something different but you always ended up eating the same food and same portion and surprisingly your stomach does not protest to the monotonous routine.
Then it is back to the cold compartment, and again, aint on time to hit the 45th minute.
Fighting off the Zzz monster is a huge challenge by this time, even made worse if you’ve had a heavy carb meal.
You will then somehow drift into subconsciousness and plan what to have for dinner and where to go after this suffocation.
The last fifteen minutes to work is actually the best anticipation of the day..
Off to gleeful dinner, a stark contrast to lunch.
You will still have to choose your food, but it was a much more relaxed choice.
Night came and you are reluctant to let it end, for it will only bring the dreaded morning here again.
And then the sun will go up and down again.
That was a day at work.
*****
The beginning of a year..
Where everyone is psychologically basked in eagerness to keep to their resolutions or improved changes.
Hopes are high and so are expectations.
The bonus period made everyone forget the previous year’s troll and drudgery, yet for a while.
Then you get bored again it is time to look forward to the next holiday.
You’ll look forward to CNY, a period filled with pineapple tarts, steamboat, egg rolls, chocolates and more tarts.
Most importantly of all, an official two days of legal hiatus.
Then it is time to don nice new clothes and proceed off to house visits for ang baos.
Something which you feel embarrassed about.
Because you’ve had new clothes all year round and how overly aged we feel to receive ang baos like kids.
Little that you know that we arent kids anymore and we gradually come to see the meaningless time spent at drifted-apart relatives’ homes.
A mere sheer understanding that relationships do actually grow apart when they don’t see each other that often anymore.
Then you will start to anticipate whatever public holidays you can find at the back of the calender.
Shopping centres spot decos so attuned to the holidays’ theme, forever giving promotions and forever on sales.
And then you indulge in self-wallow at the short list of public holidays..
And try to spend more at the Great Singapore Sale.
Mid year, no where here, naught there..
You forget the beginning of the year’s resolutions and you yearn for the damn far off end of the year..
So we used retail therapy to keep us happy for a while.
How ironic it is to make ourselves even worse off this time of the year.
National Day comes and we feel patriotic for a while..
Life isnt so bad after all, for a day.
Then back to self pity again that you have yet to accomplish anything worthwhile for you to look back on this very year.
And the same mundane life, with the ocassional perk of an official off day.
Once per month and you feel like escaping into foreign lands.
You start to appreciate the greener grass and make plans for a tour.
Something to look forward again.
Then you go on tour, while your work piles up.
You return home, tired as ever with a morbid mortification that you need to return to work the following day.
Then you wish the end of the year is here right now.
The end of the year arrives, with Xmas and New Year day, bathing in joy and the holiday mood oozes so strong.
You will probably console yourself with the hope of
“I shall do better next year”
and the following year and the following followed year..
The console never ends.
That was a year of life.
*****
The beginning of a life
You cried the minute you see daylight.
Probably you need to breathe, or probably the acrid air on bare baby skin or simply the subconscious fact that you know life aint easy.
You cry as you learn to crawl and fall.
You cry as you scramble to walk and fall.
You cry as you climb onto things and fall.
You cry going to pre school, afraid that mommy will abandon you.
You cry when you get poor results, afraid that daddy will cane you.
You cry when you suffer the stress of the education system.
You cry when you are unable to get into the course you want.
And all these while the whole world revolves around you.
Your parents will ensure you have sufficient food to eat.
Your parents wakes up in the night to put the blanket over you.
Your parents feel hurt when you suddenly feel old enough to talk back against them.
Your parents feel disappointed when you take them for granted.
When your parents are too tired to talk to you after work, they feel remorseful and you are in complete ignorance.
Then you finally graduated and you cannot imagine how proud they are, of you.
And then you start to work.
Suffering the disorientation of the harsh reality, you begin to see the ugly aspects of people.
You see the survival of the fittest, how hypocrites eliminate the existence of one another.
You see how responsibilites are pushed and credits are fought for.
You see inhumans and slaves to money.
You begin to question life, question your lack of meaningful fulfillments so far.
And then it comes to love affairs.
You cry when you suffer breakups.
You pray your marriage will work.
You begin to take your spouse for granted.
Then you have children, dying for them to grow up.
Dying for them to start working
Dying for them to get married
Dying for them to have children
While all these yearns made you forget you are aging.
Then you realise you havent been enjoying the very present, this very moment.
Looking back in life in regret, you wish you hadnt procrastinated so much.
You wished you hugged and told your parents how much you loved them.
You wished you had been there when your children had their school’s family day.
You wished you hant complained so much when you realised you actually forget to appreciate everything you have had.
You wished you had taken better care of your health when you see your doctor’s grim face.
You wished you had more time to do things that you always wanted to do when you had more strength back then.
You wished that you could turn back the hands of time.
