~Prelude~
工作压到我好透不过气。。
眼泪一直莫名地默默在眼眶里渗出来。。
脸发烧了。。
常常在工作时把头向后倾。。
只因不要眼泪往下掉。。
头发长的好处。。
可以遮住那哭后又红又肿地脸。。
需要在雨中跑步来减轻压力，这算能够承受压力吗？
也许我不能承受压力吧。。
真的好累好累。。
常问自己，想简单地维持身活真得那么苦那么难吗？
这几天都没睡好。。
不是梦到自己得癌症，就是梦到自己在找人。。
不然就是三更半夜不断地起身，怕闹钟坏睡过头。。
吃饭也不懂自己在吃什么。。没味道。。没胃口。。
楼下素摊子的人看到我就直问你怎么越来越瘦？
*****
Finally got that slip of paper that literally symbolized a year of slogging tormentous toil..
Felt all the extreme fatigue all of a sudden..
Staring blankly at the slip, I was at a loss..
Mixed emotions boiled in me as the whole year of ups and downs came rushing back towards me..
Not because the paper fell short of my expectations or exceeded my expectations..
Simply, I did not know what I'm supposed to do with the sudden hike in my bank acct..
All along, 've been trying to keep my numbers above that grand..at least something now..
Knew the numbers could 've been more or were peanuts in comparison to my counterparts, but why should I compare and make myself feel bad? It doesnt matter to me..at least I'm not as poor as before..anymore..at least I knew I made daddy and mommy and brothers happy..at least something to make up to daddy and mommy to put up with my moody face at home, to put up with my sudden outbursts at times when I'm temperamental..
Daddy asked me, so with that few months of income, do I still feel like leaving? Though I have nothing against my scope of work, without hesitation, I gave him the answer..then I realised, it takes more than the money to spark my motivation again..the same motivation that was so promising when I first started off..
I need a long break..
*****
irony @
12:55 AM
